Defining the Folly of My Ways

I rediscovered something important today and hope I don’t forget it this time. Human nature welcomes helping others and I’m no different. Last year, I decided to mentor someone whom I thought showed both studied and innate talent. That was my first mistake. Assumptions are illusions and I bought into mine, which was a costly investment taking far more patience, time and money than I had ever anticipated.

At first it felt rewarding to see the protégé’s improvement but slowly these improvements began to transform the protégé into a egocentric. I dismissed the decaying association after considering the hardship imposed upon the protégé at one time, and then I tolerated it as the protégé’s ego grew bigger and bigger “buying into its own press,” as the saying goes. Of course, there is always a boundary that is crossed, and mine was finally crossed closing the curtain forever.

My two lessons? Don’t assume anything. As a line in a TV show once pointed out, “It makes an ass out of u and me.” And the second lesson, if you want to play in my sand pile, you had better bring your own bucket because I don’t intend to hand out buckets to anyone again.

I was wrong to do it the first time years ago and certainly wrong this time. I was wrong because I created the rules, made erroneous assumptions, and turned an otherwise nice person into a arrogant jerk who didn’t have the business or cultural discernment to carry the bucket in the first place. President Clinton had a better idea when he once asked two Eastern European countries that had been warring, “How can we help you along your way?” Asking another to propose the agenda is a lot different than assuming one!